Journal August 8th
I wake up most mornings in total agony before dragging myself down to the kitchen to take all my medications with strong instant coffee - and that includes my pain medications. While some mornings are worse than others, it's overall the same, and it's rough on my already-challenged body. This way of living just isn't sustainable. Honestly, I don't know how coffee alone hasn't caused me to drop dead. I am drinking way too much of it, just to obtain some superficial surge of 'energy', if you can call it that ... and to cut through the otherwise cloud of drowsiness caused by all my medications. They say people in the psych ward drink pots of coffee if they can get their hands on it. Some psych wards that are housing longer term patients have a pot on brew that people can help themselves - which they do many times over. I understand why they do that. The cloud of drowsiness feels icky, and they can't think straight that way. It's a quality of life thin...